


Herding Cats Would Be Easier

by kakotheres



Series: Just Write! Fluff Bingo 2019 [8]
Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Magnificent Seven AU: ATF, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, baby goats - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 19:42:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19933459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakotheres/pseuds/kakotheres
Summary: Ezra agrees to help Vin out. He has some regrets - at least they took Vin's car.





	Herding Cats Would Be Easier

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Just Write! Discord server, Fluff Bingo 2019.  
> Prompt: Baby Goats.

“Mr. Tanner, what on earth have you gotten us into?”

Two hours ago, Vin had texted him with a simple “You free? Could use a second pair of hands.” Had it been anyone else, Ezra would have questioned much further before simply agreeing to jump in. He had little enough free time as it was. However, he found himself drawn to be with the quiet tracker as much as possible. Despite their outward differences, the two of them had gotten along well from the start. A mutual appreciation for witty comments and testing the bounds of Mr. Larabee’s temper had allowed for a surface friendship that quickly deepened into mutual respect. Despite their disparate backgrounds, both men held similar values in high regard. Community, loyalty, and fairness united them on a fundamental level. And from that friendship and mutual admiration rose something that looked less like a fleeting crush and more like love each passing day – or at least it did on Ezra’s side. He wasn’t sure how Vin felt. Was Vin interested in men? Was he interested in Ezra? There were times when Ezra would swear that he could see strong signals that indicated that the answer was yes, but never anything clear enough for him to fully trust his instincts. He had been deeply burned before. Once bitten, twice shy as the saying goes. Still, Ezra enjoyed spending time with him, regardless of whether or not his romantic feelings were returned.

All of that lead to him agreeing to aid Vin on his day off, giving the excuse that he was bored with his current book and could use a diversion. Thus, he found himself in his current predicament – sitting alongside Vin in his busted-up Jeep, parked in front of a cluster of buildings on the outskirts of Purgatorio. The houses were edged in a flimsy chicken-wire fence bolstered up by a few wood posts that had seen better days. To the right stood a one-story house whose sides bore the faint remnants of what once must have been a beautiful red exterior. Half the windows were boarded up, and the other half were dusty and discolored with age. To the left, there was a small structure that appeared to be some kind of shed-like structure. On its roof, an ancient weathervane creaked softly as it swayed back and forth in the gentle breeze.

Ezra frowned in concentration. Was that…bleating he heard? “Mr. Tanner?”

Vin looked over at him with a sheepish grin. “Ok, so here’s the thing. This place used to be a working farm. The man who ran it, John Pratt, lived here for decades. It used to be a thriving place – enough production to keep him well-fed. Eventually, John got older and had a harder time keeping up with the place. He never married, never had any kids, so there was no one to help run it with him. He was a really proud man, so even the neighbors didn’t really know how much he was struggling.”

“Understandable. And how did you get roped into…whatever it is we’re going to be doing?”

“Someone from the Sisters of Mercy called me. John died a few weeks ago, and he left the place to them in his will. A few of us have been helping out with making sure things don’t run amok until the Sisters could decide what to do. The place itself is a bit far for them to keep up with every day, so they and some of the neighborhood kids have been trying to relocate the plants from his vegetable garden, salvage the wood from his shop, and gather up the…livestock.”

“Livestock, Mr. Tanner?”

Vin stretched his arms up over his head, arching his back as he reached to open the door of the Jeep. He looked back over his shoulder at Ezra, shit-eating grin in full force on his face. “Yup. Goats!” And with that, he jumped out of the car and headed toward the barn.

Goats.

Ezra shook his head. God, it was a good thing he enjoyed this man’s company so much because right now he could cheerfully throttle him. Ezra had a little experience working with goats from summers spent at his uncle’s farm in Georgia. The little assholes had minds of their own – incredibly intelligent, chaos-directed minds. At least Vin had warned him to dress in comfortable work clothes and boots instead of his usual designer wear.

*******

“So, how exactly are we transporting all these wonderful creatures?”

“Well, the main goal is to get them corralled. The Sisters said that they found someone with a trailer who should be coming by in about an hour or so. But they were concerned about transporting the baby goats in it, so I figured we could just load them up in the back of the Jeep and take them ourselves.”

“I don’t see any possible way that this could end poorly,” Ezra said, the sarcasm heavy in his voice.

Vin just grinned at him in response. “C’mon Ez, I thought you were always up for an ‘intellectual challenge’?”

“Yes, typically in the form of a difficult crossword or a piece of Russian literature. Not ‘how to baby goat proof the back of your car and convince the living embodiments of bedlam and destruction that they do indeed wish to do what we want them to do.”

“Ah, c’mon. We’re two experienced animal wranglers. How hard can it be?”

“I believe, Mr. Tanner, that you have just doomed us all.”

******

Never before had he uttered truer words, Ezra mused a few hours later. The adult goats had been mostly cooperative, easily convinced to follow a feed tub full of pellets first into a makeshift corral of plywood boards, then onto the trailer. The babies were a completely different story.

When one zigged, the other ten zagged. They were quick, nimble, and surprisingly good at balancing on seemingly impossible places. It was clear that none of the babies had been handled much. They disliked being touched and were easily able to contort their bodies in impossible ways to escape any kind of capture. When Vin attempted to put some pellets in a feed tub to coax them over, one bold male grabbed the edge of the rubber in his mouth, leaped straight up into the air, and managed to yank the whole thing out from Vin’s hand, sending pellets flying every which way. Ezra had been absolutely no help, finding himself overcome with uncontrollable giggles at the sight of his usually incredibly competent companion being given the run around by 9 bouncy, adorable agents of the devil.

Vin finally declared that a brief cease-fire was in effect so that they could all catch their breath and calm down, coming over to flop on the ground by Ezra’s feet.

“Who knew those cute little critters were such demons at heart,” he sighed.

“I take it you haven’t spent much time around goats,” Ezra said, finally catching his breath after his laughing fit. “This is pretty much par for the course.”

“Nope, most of the livestock I’ve worked with have been horses, cattle, the occasional sheep. Nothing like this.”

“Ok, ok. I think we have need of a new plan. The most important part of catching a goat is convincing it that the whole thing was their idea in the first place. Run a con on them, if you will.”

“Somehow, I don’t think you’re going to be able to use your fancy way with words to convince these little shits of anything, Ezra. Smart as they are, I still think English might be a bit beyond them.”

“You’re completely correct. But goats are naturally very curious creatures. We can convince them that we have something they want and then set them up to be captured. The pellets obviously aren’t high value enough. We need something better, something they’ll find worth the risk. The back of the Jeep’s already prepped for them, so we just need to make sure that the back door is open. We settle into the front seat and look like we’ve gotten into something they really want. Encourage them to jump up into the car to see what we have. What kind of junk food do you have in there?”

“I’ve got one of those big bins of Cheez Doodles.”

“Perfect.”

*****

15 minutes later, the baby goats were happily munching away on a few neon-orange snacks as Vin jumped out of the driver’s seat, rushing around to close the trunk door before the baby goats could escape. Once they were secured, he hopped back in and started the car. He let out a long sigh, then looked over to where Ezra sat in the passenger seat.

“Well, at least we won?”

“Indeed, Mr. Tanner. Next time, however, perhaps you’ll allow me to pick the date activity? Perhaps something a bit more relaxing.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Ezra froze. He hadn’t meant to say that thought out loud. Hesitantly, he looked to Vin, hoping he hadn’t taken offense to the way that Ezra had been viewing their times together outside of work.

He relaxed as he took in the open and pleased look on Vin’s face, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. “I’d like that, Ez,” he said. “Maybe dinner and a movie sometime soon?”

A smile broke out across Ezra’s face. “That could be arranged.” He glanced toward the back of the car, where the goats had grown suspiciously quiet. “But first, let’s hand off our cargo before they figure out how to chew their way to freedom.”

“Good idea,” Vin said, putting the Jeep sharply into gear and pulling away. “Maybe we should let the Sisters know that these little guys are going to expect Cheez Doodles all the time now. Right guys?”

“BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH.”


End file.
